What Emotional Safety Really Looks Like in a Coworking Space

by | May 15, 2025 | Link in the Show Notes | 0 comments

Link in the Show Notes

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week and European Coworking Day.

So I’ve been writing nonstop about where mental health and coworking meet, with stories from Coworking Values Podcast guests and my direct experience of mental health and coworking.

Below are four reads from this week:

Designing Emotional Safety

You can have the nicest chairs in the world and still not feel safe. That’s the thing about emotional safety, isn’t it?

It’s not about the furniture, the quiet rooms, or the slogans on the wall that say, “You Belong Here.” Those things can be nice, sure.

But they’re not it.

Emotional safety — that feeling of being able to… exhale, to be yourself without constantly looking over your shoulder — is relational.

  • It’s about how people make you feel.
  • How does the space make you think?
  • It’s in the air, not just in the design catalogue.

⏯️ Subscribe and listen to the Coworking Values Podcast here.

🧠 What Emotional Safety Really Means (Hint: It’s Not a Checklist)

So, what are we talking about when we say emotional safety in a place where people come to work, to build, sometimes to escape the four walls of their flat?

It’s about lowering what Paula Madrid, a psychotherapist I spoke to, calls “psychological friction.”

That’s all the energy you burn just trying to fit in.

Mask the bits of yourself you think won’t be welcome.

Please people.

Constantly be “on” in a shared space.

It’s exhausting.

Think about it:

  • The invisible fatigue so many of us carry
  • The overstimulation of a busy environment when your brain’s already fried
  • The loneliness that creeps in even when people surround you
  • The fear of being judged for not being “professional” enough… or just enough

Here’s what people in our community say:

  • Sam Sundius: Safety comes from predictability
  • Lisa Kissane Even small talk can be a minefield when you’re grieving
  • Thor A Rain Depression and anxiety drain your energy before you even sit down
  • Amy Morgan Neuroinclusive design is about intentionality, not ticking boxes
  • Jon Torrens An emotional connection starts with “throwing out hooks” — small bids for interaction

Emotional safety isn’t about a perfect, sterile environment.

It’s about creating a space where the messy, complicated reality of being human is acknowledged — and maybe even welcomed.

⏯️ Subscribe and listen to the Coworking Values Podcast here.

Who Coworking Leaves Out (Even When It Doesn’t Mean To)

We like to think our coworking spaces are open to everyone.

But sometimes, even with the best intentions, we make people feel like they don’t quite belong.

My friend Sangeeta Pillai (Soul Sutras), who champions South Asian women’s stories on her podcast, and her book put it powerfully:

“Safety is being okay in that space as you are. In your culture, your name, your food.”

It’s the little things:

  • Someone stumbling over your name and not bothering to get it right
  • Feeling like your lunch is “too smelly” or “too different”
  • Always slightly explaining yourself, like you’re a cultural mismatch

Lisa Kissane talked about “pro-natalism” — that pervasive assumption that everyone has or wants kids.

“Pro-natalism made me feel like I didn’t belong.”

Casual kitchen chat can unintentionally exclude someone who’s childless, grieving, or on a different life path. It stings.

Thor Rain shared the constant work of managing depression in a communal space. The mental maths of “do I have energy to speak to people today?”

Do you think I can be quiet without being seen as rude?

Amy Morgan put it:

“It doesn’t cost more to design with neurodivergence in mind. It just requires listening.”

It’s not about expensive upgrades. It’s about offering different kinds of seating, quiet zones, clear signage, and a willingness to ask, listen, and adapt.

What Real Safety Looks Like (It’s More Human Than You Think)

It’s not about fancy chairs or free yoga.

What actually makes a coworking space feel emotionally safe?

It’s often in the unspoken things — the culture built day by day.

  • Predictable rhythms. Knowing what to expect. Understanding the energy of the room. Quiet times are respected.
  • Check-ins that matter. Not just “How are you?” but “Are you okay today?” Real presence from the front desk or a fellow member.
  • Permission to be awkward, emotional, or invisible. You don’t have to be “on” all the time. It’s okay to be quiet. To cry. To wear headphones all day and just survive.
  • Representation that’s real. Not just in the marketing shots, the team, the front desk, and the leadership. When you see someone like you, it sends a signal: You belong here.

⏯️ Subscribe and Listen to the Coworking Values Podcast here.

Holding Space Is Hard. Really Hard.

We have to be realistic: Creating emotionally safe environments takes real work.

And the ones doing it — community managers, space operators — often run on empty.

Claire Carpenter, 20+ years in, said it this:

“I’m 20 years in and completely wiped. This work takes everything.”

Gareth I. Jones Reminds us:

“Community work doesn’t scale.”

You can’t template belonging.

And from my own experience?

You can’t hold space for others if you’re constantly about to snap yourself.

The Invitation: Do Less, But Care More

Emotional safety doesn’t come from adding more features. It often comes from removing pressure.

From simplifying. From focusing on human connection over surface gloss.

Coworking spaces can be recovery scaffolding for people navigating a harsh world.

Places where people don’t just survive — but actually start to heal.

But that’s a choice. And it’s one we have to make, consciously and consistently.

  • It means listening more than we talk.
  • It means inclusion over aesthetics.
  • It means understanding that sometimes the most valuable thing we can offer is…

A quiet, steady presence. A handrail in the dark.

⏯️ Subscribe and listen to the Coworking Values Podcast here.

Two things for you!

Thank you for your time and attention today